Check Yes or No or Yes

Yesterday I got a call about a job. This hasn’t happened in awhile so I wasn’t exactly ready. The lady was really nice though. You might think I’m calling her “the lady” to keep her anonymous but sadly no. I didn’t get her name. I’m so very bad with names.

She tells me I applied for a job doing payroll data entry. That did sound like me. I apply for any job that has data or entry in the title. Err… wait. Data AND entry. Entry without data doesn’t sound kosher.

I must sound confused because she goes on to say that most people apply to so many jobs they don’t remember them either. That’s when I realize she’s with an employment agency. I have no idea which one. Because I’m detail oriented that way.
 
She then goes on to tell me the job description of this mystery job I applied for. By this time I’ve found something to write it down with. Okay, what I really find is a barely sharpened pencil and the Samsung User Manual for our television. All the notebooks and pens I buy and they are never around when I need them!

I write down cryptic notes like: “Data Entry. Payroll. Moderate. Statistical. Data.”

This is why nobody wanted to copy my notes in school! They make absolutely no sense. I mean some of it makes sense. I’m not sure what’s moderate. And thank God I wrote down data! Who knew there was data in data entry?

She’s like, “It’s a data entry position and I can see on your resume that’s what you did in your last job.” She pauses. “Wow. You worked there a long time!”

I love when people say that! “Yes, I did.”

“Can I ask why you left?”

I say layoff’s, funding, blah, blah. I want to say, “They were intimidated by my awesomeness,” but I don’t.

The rest of the conversation went like this:

Her: “This is a three month contract. Is that something that interests you?”

Me: “Err… Yes.” I always say yes. If the job is worth it, why not? I need work!

Her: “Ok, now the hours are kind of strange.”

Now I’ve always wanted a job where the hours weren’t the traditional 9 to 5 so this intrigues me.

She continues: “…Monday through Thursday, it’s 8:30 to 5:30 and on Friday it’s 1:00 to 9:00.”

WTF? I like the thought of going in late, but working until 9:00? On a Friday? What if I want to go out on a Friday night? Hahahaha. No, but seriously, who ever wants to work late on a Friday? Even if you are almost 40 and never go out anymore?

But she’s not done yet: “And on Saturday it’s 8:00 am until the payroll is finished.”

Really? Work late on a Friday and early on a Saturday?

Her: “Is this something that you’re still interested in?”

I want to say, “Hell no,” but instead, I’m like, “Umm… Yeah. I think so.” I’m honestly surprised I have never been sold into prostitution. I always say yes.

“So how much did you want to make an hour?”

I give her the sum that is the least I’ll go with a commute, but I still think I’m selling myself cheap. A pimp could do better! But I’m also realistic. I know what jobs are paying. She tells me that they are adamant in paying an amount that comes to a dollar less than my absolute minimum. Father Sweetness said so! (A pimp name generator gave me that as my pimp name. It’s sad that I couldn’t think of a pimp name on my own).

I explain that there’s no way I can work for that much. She’s very understanding and asks if I want to come and discuss what it is I’m looking for in a job. I agree. Why not? I know I have that other appointment with an employment agency but it doesn’t hurt to keep my options open, right? They are in two completely different areas. I make an appointment for Tuesday, the day after the other appointment.

Sadly, despite my extensive notes (ha) I did not write down her name or company. She said she’d send me a confirmation email, but I don’t have one yet. I’ll probably get it on Monday. The other company said they would send one the day before so this company might too. It’s no big deal if they don’t.

In case you wanted a visual of what I looked like on the phone, here is one of me with my granny:




Just imagine Woody Woodpecker is a phone. My mouth really does hang open like that. I was probably saying yes to him too.  

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