The Grand Opening

These are the things I do to prep for an interview the day before:

1. Try on the skirt that goes with the suit to make sure it fits still. There’s nothing like going into an interview and having them ask when you are expecting. This is no baby bump, this is a gummy bear/ice cream/Cheez-It bump, thank you very much.

2. Look for another job to apply to so you can tell yourself, “Who cares about this interview, look at all these other people who might like me more!” Of course I have to do this anyway for Unemployment, but that’s beside the point! I’m making a statement!

3. Distract myself with books like this one:



That way I will know how to solve the case of why I didn’t get the job later on.

4. Eat everything in your house telling yourself you deserve it. You’re stressed out! Then realize you sound like one of the people you watch on Bridezilla justifying everything they do. “This is my day! Who cares if I can fit in my skirt!”

5. Mapquest directions to the company and wonder how early you should leave in case you get loss. It takes about a hour and 15 minutes so maybe three hours early. Hmm… But is that enough time? I should leave now!

6. Try on your entire suit again for your husband who just looks at you and is like, “It looks good.” Umm…thanks for the enthusiam.

7. Look in your empty jewelry box and curse yourself for losing every piece of jewelry you’ve ever had even as you realize you still don’t want to buy any. There’s so much more I could spend that money on! Books are a girl’s best friend!

8. Cut off the tags on the suit. It’s like the grand opening! Hmm… That sounded bad. Nobody is getting in my clothes! I just mean, now it’s official. I have no choice but go to the interview!

9. Try to get Sam Kitty to do a selfie. This has nothing to do with the interview, but it’s a good distraction. This is about as close as I got:



Sam Kitty doesn’t do good selfies.

10. Freak the hell out! I feel like I’ve done absolutely nothing to prepare, yet I feel if I prepare too much I would panic even more. Thank God it isn’t until 1:00 so I can wake up a little bit before I have to be there. Wish me luck! That’s just so I don’t get lost. You should probably wish me luck on the interview too.

Until tomorrow!

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